The thing I have found myself worrying about lately is my work. I am not enjoying my work as much as in the past. I guess I’m having kind of a pity party – with the change in leadership over the past couple of years, I don’t feel as needed or like what I do is understood and/or appreciated by the new folks. This, in turn, makes me less motivated and the cycle becomes vicious. I question whether I should continue with it until they tell me different. The thing is – I (we) depend on the money I bring in – even though it’s not a great deal. I was also hoping to make up some of that by teaching at HPU again or at Ranger – and both have fallen through.
In the back of my mind, I hear a small voice saying, “Trust Me.” But I like “sure deals,” if you know what I mean. I am thinking, “How are we going to pay certain bills?” “What will I do for that extra spending money?” “What would I do with my time if I’m not working?”
I also have to admit that I’ve always struggled with somewhat of an identity crisis. Truly, I am a child of the ‘70’s, whose mantra was, “Who am I?” Over the years, I have found self-worth in being “someone” – Debbie Eoff, school teacher, Debbie Eoff, Lacie and Carlie’s mom; Debbie Eoff, wife of Garry Eoff. Well, I am still married to Garry, but I’m really not a school teacher any more; Lacie and Carlie are not longer children…you get the picture…and the pity party.
So what do I do with the insecurity and fear that this worry brings? Even as I was writing these words, the Father kept whispering, “Learn to be content in whatever circumstances you find yourself…learn the secret of being filled…” Phil 4:11-12.
Who am I? I am a daughter of the King! A royal princess – not deserving but humbled to be part of what He is doing to redeem this world!
Now, that gives me purpose! I just have to let Him show me His plan and what I am to do…
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You Go GIRL!!
ReplyDeleteMy latest biggest worry was the potential inconistancy in hours at work. All in the same month Brandon and I sold our house, bought a bigger house, I accepted a new job (that I thought was 40 hours a week), our renter moved out of our rent house, and my schedule slowed down at work. Man was I ever STRESSED out, not to mention it was right before Christmas, the first Christmas Benson really undertood the concept of Santa Clause. I am the one in our family who pays the bills so it was constantly on my mind. I would get SO frustrated I would lash out at Benson and distance myself from Brandon. All I did was worry. During the same time I got another job offer which would have been another pay increase and took it despite not having a peace about it. When I would pray about it, I too hear the voice "Trust Me". At first I didn't listen. I turned in my two week notice. After a week of my company raising my hourly rate and promising they'd give me 40 hours I new God was trying to take care of us. I took back my two week notice and agreed to put my trust in God. Paying two mortgages still isn't a cake walk and at times I still get angry and frustrated that we are in this situation and the house hasn't sold but I know God provides.
ReplyDeleteWe had a great time tonight discussing what we had read and experienced this past week. I'd like to know what impacted you the most either from our reading or from tonight's discussion. Those of you who have had difficulty posting - don't give up! Don't give Satan the satisfaction of keeping you from sharing.
ReplyDeleteRemember to pray for the person on your card this week.
Blessings,
Debbie
goodmorning ladies hope you have a blessed day
ReplyDeletegoodmorning ladies
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